baby said something today that make me v disappointed...

well, i wanna make something for his bday to give him a surprise... but he is a quick witted guy who knew what i was gonna give him... but he said that if valentine he will feel sweet and such but for bday he felt kinda not really sincere... i even search a lot of web and videos to learn how to make... i even slept late cuz of it... as my art isnt good... i failed a lot of time... and in the end i went to learn something else...

he said he bought me a ds and yet i only make something for him...

i was totally disappointed... muz u mind that so much?

u think abt how many jobs u gotta take in order to buy me one? n me? i dun even have a job yet... and he said i wasnt like really efficient to really go and find one...

well, at that moment i almost juz wanna slap him and walk off... but i didnt...

like sock hui she did chip in but all she wan for her bday is juz a elmo which is a simple wish from her...

though we bought something else and she is kinda disappointed...

but still she didnt ask mre like u did...

is the price of the gift really so impt to u?

like during our anni u gave me a small card... i was happy... i even keep it in my bag and took out to read sometimes... i felt sweet and love...

y cant u feel the same?

y u juz cant b like last time.. small little things i do for u... u will feel touch and sweet?

is it every couple will b like that? after long time together will ask for mre frm each other?

i noe i didnt do much for u... but u like always giving me expensive gift or juz a small gift and such... but u is u... u got wrk i dun have ok...

for example i buy u a psp then u muz buy me a DS luhs.. izzit?

todays incident really make me feel super disappointed in u...

it makes me feel mre hard to make u happy...

mre things to think to make u happy...

makes me feel like u r a change person...

makes me doubt on u... whether r u the right person for me...

y is it so difficult? y cant we juz be together happily... without minding what we r giving each other for bday valentine and such... juz simply be together in each other embrace and felt love, sweet and happy...

y u juz wan mre and mre frm me... baby... there is a limit to the things i can do... dun go too far... i cant take it...

i nvr stress u that u muz give me this n that...

the DS things... if i juz dun care abt u... i wouldnt even bother to say: baby, i dun wan DS le... i dun wan to c u wrk so hard... makes me feel v xin tong and such... i wouldnt tell joyce abt how i feel...

i cried hard that day is cuz i dunu y muz u think this way after we patch on that particular day...

plz baby... dun add to my burden and always make me think of what to do to make u happy...

i am juz super disappointed with u on what u told me today... i dunu all right...

dun b offended but i juz felt u r kinda too much today...

ahh... really not a very good christmas... exam results after christmas... bad day...

is like u enjoy yr christmas day to the fullest... and the next day is your nervous day for the exam results... and probably it is not up to your expectation... it will be haii... spoil the whole happy christmas that u had it the day before...

anw... mon... went with baby to thomson to buy my things... Plaza Sing to buy his things... and to buy my shampoo... and after that we had a small quarrel... due to his stubborness...

nvr care for him he said : i do so much things for u n yet i sick not even a concern from u...
care for him he felt i kinda naggy and he feels frustrated...

dun care also rong care also rong...

n he came to my hse cook maggie mee... ask him to cook it himself cuz i was like so angry luhs... after eating... he apologise and such... and we r ok again... -.-...

tues: i ask him to come over my hse in the first place... cuz my auntie came to visit me and it is giving me a bad stomach cramp... and now i not using bus concession anymore.. as my ITE card will probably expired end of dec... he at first said ok... but after awhile he said he wish me to go over instead... i said if i really need to go over i will have to wake up damn super early to do hse wrk... plus my stomach cramp till like that...

after much talking... i told him if i can wake up early then i will go... after awhile i juz go slp... in the end i woke up at 1pm... i suppose to wake up at 12-12.30 to do my hsewrk and such... i called him and said i might not be able to go over cuz i am simply too tired... if possible can he come fetch me instead... at first he said ok... then he said can i mit u at bedok bus stop... i was pissed and quarrel started again... he juz said for the past few days he has been coming so he is lazy to come over to fetch me...

if last time the him he wuld do that w/o any complains... even he had he wuld juz keep quiet...

haii... after awhile guys do change ya... kinda disappointed though... well, sometimes i am also demanding, short temper and kinda self centered... i am changing...

but my bad tempered juz cant change... small things can really make me flare up le...

in the end after so much talking and wasting of time... i went to his hse instead... climb out of my bed... despite my stomach cramp... do hse wrk... faster go bath... reach his hse at abt 4 plus... before that bought sesame paste for him and myself...

watch drama... his mum cooked prawn noodles... he scoop a bowl for me as i am hungry... didnt eat at all... after eating... ate the sesame paste... FULL... and cont to watch drama...

till abt 7pm watch the love blossom... had dinner at his hse too... i was still damn full... but ate a little... left his hse at 10pm... he send me back home taking 22... well, not really back home... till the inter... then he took the last 22 bus back home... reach home... started to feel sleepy... called him chatted till he bath finish... which means we talk all the way when he was outside to home...

he called me when i wanted to bath but not for long... only half an hour nia... then i ask him go slp le...

dats all...

today he went for his fren de christmas party... so will be meeting him on the actual day of christmas...

so happy christmas everyone... =)))

wish me luck on my exam... *cross fingers* i am really scared and worried...

baby... enjoy yrself... haii... one year plus together... really had lots of tough period... hopefully we can go thru as many obstacles as possible together... anw merry christmas... =)

cont...

yest slept at 3 plus in the morning woke up at 12 plus due to my mum shouting...

n she complained that i was lazy to do the hse wrk... plz luhs... if i am lazy... i wouldnt even bother to pack up the bed... pack up the room... wash, hang and fold the clothing, iron clothes for my bro if he needs it... and such... i tot the part time maid wuld be here today...

but end up she called my mum saying she cant make it...

i also didnt ask her to do the hse wrk like everyday... is always had been like this.. mon-fri i do... weekends... she do... if the maid comes she only has to do it on sun... dats all...

n yet she is complaining today?

i juz woke up pack the bed... vacum the floor... hang the clothes... now waiting for the bed sheets to be washed...

if every weekends i gotta hear her shouting... i cannot stand man...

n my father bought coffee for her... and she didnt even went to touch it... simply juz go n make her own one...

the prob starts during the money incident...

i simply dunu y... this is really my mum fault what... my father didnt do anything wrong... and yet she juz dont wanna talk to my dad?

i am sick of staying at home... i wanna go out n wrk! instead of facing my mum attitude... keep venting her angers on me when her mood is bad...

i am not yr punching bag ok!

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I am pissed, upset and totally disappointed... baby suppose to mit me tml.. which is sat... cuz is our anni tml... not really dating but juz coming to my hse as i wanna save money till christmas...

i did told baby that we will celeb our anni and christmas together as i am short of cash... he agreed...

and so today i juz msg him: anything talk on mon. since we never mit on sat.

and he replied: I meet u on sat... we go out walk walk hao ma? abt 4?

i replied: didnt i say i will try to go out lesser on weekends?

he replied: hmmm.. then i go your hse?

and bla bla bla...

and everything was confirmed ALREADY...

he called me ltr on...

he: dear... hilton juz called me and ask me weather i wanna wrk on sat... should i wrk? or u wanna mit me on sat?

me: (jolly well know we already confirm that we r meeting on that day and u still ask me stupid ques and u r the one who said u wanna come over n mit me) how wuld i noe... up to u luhs...

he: ok then i go wrk...

me: up to u luhs... (feeling pissed)

he: ok then bye...

do u noe how pissed i was! he 1st say wan mit me... and juz cuz hilton called he come n ask me stupid ques when we ALREADY confirm to mit up... he already noe we r meeting up so he shuld use his CLEVER brain n reject the offer immediately...

but he juz come ask me! so meaning he rather wrk!

c... what a nice bf i ever had who rather wrk on our anni... huh! nice bf right...

juz cuz of my word up to u n u really think i am giving u a second chance to think whether wanna wrk or mit me...

and he juz feel he didnt do anything rong at all!!!!! by working instead of meeting me up...

n worst still.. right after we put down he IMMEDIATELY call them n say he wanna wrk... when i also immediately msg him...

i totally v disappointed... our anni tml and yet he is doing this... 1stly is my family... now is him! next wuld b who?

and he juz said he cant cancel... how cool is that! thanks baby for the super GOOD NEWS!

u will c what will happen to u on mon or christmas for doing this to me...

today had a super bad day... baby came to my hse... and my mum sms me ask me my father what he wants as she is busy...

i called my dad and yet he said that my mum took out some money from their join account... which he cant pay for the car now... he got to lend it frm my uncle... i am sure he didnt borrow frm them last time...

but now due to my mum he got to ask my uncle for money? what has my house gotten into?

this is damn ridiculous man! fancy getting money frm the bank w/o my father knowledge? my father told me everything today and it make me feel that i dunu my mum anymore... last time we use not to be like this...

if she culd stop buying 4D that wuld b like how good man... cuz once she buy she can buy so big... once she even bought abt 100 bucks... that is totally ridiculous! no wonder why she keep complaining her bank money running low so fast... is not cuz of me and my bro is cuz of her stupid gambling habit...

i did scold her last time saying wan buy better buy small... cannot buy so many numbers...and dun always buy... once in a while still ok... she did listen but not for long... which make me super pissed... she also said she will quit gambling in the end what! promise didnt even made luhs...

i told her yea as if u will quit like that... u quit le then u come tell me... dun come make empty promises...

did she even change.. she didnt luhs!

same like my bro spent money like water... is always money that cuz family to quarrel... which i super hate it! y my mum cant juz think... she think my father got so much money izzit... keep taking out money without asking...

worst! even internet transfer also got... even frm my acc... cuz me and my father share acc ma... i save so hard for what shit! let my mum take money frm me! and she even deny saying she didnt do it... cuz she dunu how to do... pi luhs dunu how to do then who take the money... my bro admitted he also did... but that was last time...

mother and son both same char.. money spender!

if really got do juz admit it and tell us the reason y luhs! so we mayb can help... keep quiet down there ask le still deny! carry on like that our hse sure turn upside down i tell u...

if she can deny taking money frm the join account... i will think she really can act luhs... if she never take out who will?

i really feel sad for my dad... work so hard since young to feed his own brothers... and now gotta even face my mum incident...

my father did scold her a few times but she juz deny n worst even talk back!

how cool is her act man... i noe i shouldnt say this cuz she is still my mum... but she is in a total wrong! wan get money frm my father juz ask luhs what for steal huh! if wan take also tell my father right... fancy keeping quiet down there!

dunu luhs! juz hope my father culd talk some sense in her during the weekend... i will be there too... cuz my father sometimes juz dunu how to speak out... what she says he will juz ok luh ok luh forget it luh ok... this will not do man... if cont like that my father money will sure dry up...

i pour out everything to baby today... and had a chat with joyce at msn... abt job... and i dunu y suddenly she juz like sounded not happy and juz saying all those weird sentence...

my mood is really not good today... i juz hope my family can juz b like last time...

i am suppose to mit baby at wed... BUT he said MAYBE he need to go jurong to collect slippers... i juz said collect slippers only what like that also cannot mit meh... he said the journey thru n fro will take 3 hours... pissed... if he is that busy EVEN DURING THE HOLIDAYS... i cant say anything much...

his sch will start on 5th jan... he is april intake so will grad ard march ba... for me! bladdy shit still waiting for calls... i mean for job... but now i am juz rather worried abt my results... to see if i can get in poly...

for now juz slacking at home DOING NOTHING... i tot i culd get a job this mth... shucks! joyce and sock hui went for the chingay volunteering thing... baby as usual BUSY! but me NTH TO DO!

first: waiting for calls for job...
second: waiting for exam results

if can get in poly:
do application
will wrk till abt march if i am able to find one
wait for poly results
IF can get in then yoohoo! happy of course... if cannot then haii... i dunu also... reapply again ba... till can get in... so scared and worried... =(((

hmmm... yest totally didnt get a good slp... i slept at 1 plus in the morning... BUT i juz couldnt sleep... turn there turn here also cannot slp... end up i go to the kitchen to get myself some water... did slp a little but it was just a light slp... even my father open the door i also wake up le... sms baby at 7 plus in the morning... so by 8 plus finally i can slp... BUT by 9.15am my alarm rang and i felt so tired...

in the end slept for another 15 mins... bath and everything... wait for sock hui, joyce and Sock hui's friend at the opp bus stop... cuz they r at toa payoh taking 88 to amk... i juz boared the bus once they call me... then suay suay go all the way to pasir ris STILL RAINING... suppose to go escape in the end cancel... damn sian...

walk at white sand i felt super sian there... after that go lesiure park... walk walk... go archad play play... sock hui manage to catch mikey and minni... joyce too but is at white sand... hers is mikey... but lol... think the auntie there saw sock hui catch too many le then went to loosen the thing... still say the machine got some prob... went to off it... but is actually they went to loosen it... now u noe y go archad is so hard to catch the things u wan... so stingy... -.-... then after awhile baby came... then went pastamania to have our lunch... i didnt eat the whole day only one bottle of orange juice... -.-... i was so hungry luhs... after our lunch which i was super full after it...

after awhile... sock hui and joyce left... sock hui went for niece one month joyce go ah ma hse... me and baby... went to watch movie... after that... suppose to go vivo... but after all the boring walk i went to his hse and slack instead...

abt 9.30 then left his hse... it was still drizzling though... -.-... and on the bus... started to think abt my result... haix... wonder how i fare man... i am v scared... that i cannot make it to poly... i am really scared... but what over is over... cant do anything... only can wait till results day which is right after christmas... -.-... damn suay...

bless me pls... i am really worried...

anw... on sun going with sock hui, joyce and sock hui's friend to escape this sun! ^^... actually i cancelled it de cuz my pocket not much money with me now... but yep escape is celebrating their 8 anni so the admission fee is only $8.80... =)))... after escape all of us will go our seperate ways...

-.-... yea... i knw is kinda lame... lol... fancy meeting up juz to go escape and all of us go seperate ways le...

n sock hui lol... yr "dream" came true... someone last min back out... reason 1: he dun feel like going escape in the 1st place... reason 2: he is sick... which also called his luck... reason 3: i insist on not following him to the carnival on sat cuz is far which is at simei... though he told me that HIS FRIEND also stay at amk also volunteer to go...

but hello! she is she... what for compare... she is one of the mfb mates what... if she volunteer then good lor...

but escape is juz as pasir ris which IS FREAKING NEAR YR HSE!

ahh! forget it... since he already made up his freaking mind then let it be... no matter what i do... no matter what i say... no matter how i so call "act cute" also no use... bladdy shit!

next time no mre forcing... cuz forcing n in the end also no use... is only wasting my breath and energy... having to force someone... n worst... needing to plead and acting cute infront of my bladdy bf...

i ending this super pissed post now... bye bye... =)

hmmm... baby stayed at my house for 3 days 2 nights... =)... didnt really had much time together though... cuz on sat he went for his cousin wedding... his mum ask me to go too... but it was in the afternoon abt 12-1... n i need to reach his hse abt 9... leave at abt 10-11am... so which means i gotta wake up at 7+.. cuz the journey to his hse will b like an hour plus... n i am such a pig do u think i can wake up that early... so i rejected it... sry... =(... cuz they reserve a place for me... i didnt know at all.. till his mum told me...

n yea.. the lunch ended at abt 3 plus... and i wasnt ready!! lol.. so i hurry myself and rush to amk hub to meet him for movie... ^^... suppose to meet him at city hall... but yea... it was late so end up at amk hub... watch BOLT... ^^... it was nice... and the hamster is cute! bolt was cute too... lol... after movie... went to his house to pack his clothes... slack slack slack... had dinner at his house... then abt 10.30pm we left his hse... and reach my hse at abt 11+... bathed and we watch drama and such... gotta slp early cuz he wanted to support kai quan as he is running the marathon for the standard chartered..

woke up at abt 7 plus... couldnt slp... my stupid flu came back to visit me... and he didnt even concern me! :@... he said that his head was painful... so he couldnt take it n went back to slp... then i shall do it to u next time... tried to slp again... till abt 9am... went to bath... n left the house... reached there... bought some snacks for kai quan n himself... n we waited for him under the super hot sun for an hour plus...worst i got a super bad flu... carry umbrella for me.. like asking him to go n die... keep saying v heavy lei and hand v pain... i was super pissed! hello! u r a guy ok... be gentleman a bit can... if like that also call heavy and keep complaining hand pain... then might as well turn yrself into an ah gua suan liao luhs...

is u ask me to come de... i sick i still pei u wait under the hot sun ok... is only a few mins before then u decided to take out the umbrella... help me carry will it kill u... n when kai quan reach the finishing line... i was perspiring till i got no strength to walk... not because of waiting... is cuz i didnt eat at ALL! and i was tired plus sick... after he came he ate the snacks... after that suppose to go raffles place to eat de.. but the blur him took the wrong way to the MRT... and end up at douby ghuat... ate at just asia or whatever the resturant call... after math kai quan went home we suppose to watch movie... but end up... dun have the movie i wanna watch... so i went to his house instead... cuz both of us r tired... n ZZZZZZZzzzzz... woke up... and i wanna watch wild child online at my house... but he said his mum cook dinner so eat a bit 1st then go... this is the 1st time we ate food till like eating poison sia.. not cuz the food is not tasty but we are FULL...

so i juz ate the meat didnt ate the rice... after that watch the miss no good for a while jiu go my house le... he gotta do project... so i took out my bro lappy to watch the drama... watch finish le... talk to him for awhile... then suddenly feel v tired... suppose to watch wild child but lol... watch half way both of us ZZZZZZZZzzz... then i went in my room and slp le...

wanted to wake up at 10 plus on the 3rd day... cuz wan pei baby mre... but then too tired le... then slept till 11 plus... suppose to have breakfast together... but i haven bath... so he went down and buy breakfast for me, himself and my father... afte eating n such i went to bath and suddenly my stomach cramp like hell...

hai me no mood to go out walk walk... cuz too pain le... he also feel v tired... well, went yishun walk walk... super BORING... ate snacks... but it was STILL BORING... so decided to go to back to my house... so the 3rd day WAS A BORING DAY! he left at 7.30pm cuz he got project meeting... and my stomach got cramp till like dunu how long... like something poking in my stomach... super pain almost puke sia... my mum ask me to drink warm water and panadol... much better now... before that the pain was really unbearable...

sun going escape with sock hui and joyce... asked baby along... but he is a scarcely cat... eww! he is like so damn funny... when come to high elements he got no prob at all... but go escape he like so scared... i was kinda pissed at him... cuz wan drag him along also so difficult... he is so busy... plus me waiting for job.. if really get in le... i really no time meet him le lor... then he said he will meet me after my escape... but i dunu how long it will be... n is like so freaking lame... meeting us for dinner and go home... how lame is it sia...

n he agreed to come with me... but cant force him to take the rides he dun wan... i was like fine... -.-... sometimes really dunu he girl or guy sia...

=( kinda miss him staying at my house... cuz the 2nd day we has great fun at night... hees... but time flies...

anw... still looking for temp job... waiting for news... and yea... stop here...

PS: try to be man a bit can... u so ah gua... i dun feel secure when with u...

is 3.10am now n i am still freaking awake... had a super bad quarrel today with baby... n twice in one day... cuz of he is always super busy... i am busy is practically cuz of my school work of course... but his is like work, meeting, sch... is like juz after my exam n his busy schedule start coming in le... plus we already plan that fri, sat n sun... next week mon-sun... n yet... he had a super duper last min meeting on fri... which is like today... n he said he might b able to finish by 5 or 6 then will come mit me... sat he still need wake up early go his cousin wedding... then will mit me aftermath....

n i was like... 5 to 6... come amk 6-7? u only can pei me like till 10 or 11 then gotta leave to catch yr last bus... then tues he is wrking... cant mit me... n is also he told me last min de... thur fri having motor license also will mit me after that... sat got mfb meeting... also cant mit... haiii... then next next week gotta start wrk le... need $$$...

n yet he is still so busy... plus he is gonna go in army soon... argh! tell me... how am i gonna squeeze in to his timing...

always during my hol he will b damn busy de...

like the vietnam trip i got 3 weeks hol... he is so busy till only able to mit me for the last week... same goes for the taiwan trip...

but the taiwan trip i got 4 weeks hol... 1st week he at taiwan... 2nd week suay suay got HFMD... 3rd week busy with mfb... only last week able to mit me... u c how busy he is... tell me how am i gonna tolerate... during sch term... is i busy... now hol is he busy... argh!

dunu luhs... after the 1st quarrel we actually ok le... i said sry to him and he apologise too... after awhile he called me and said there is a meeting tml... i flare up again... n it wasnt being solve though...

i noe i had a v bad temper... but i juz simply hate being neglected... :@... stop here... going slp le...